Africa Calls For Me
I was not born in Nigeria. But, I lived there for all my adolescent years, and I spent a good part of that time trying to leave. What I do not get now is why.
It is common for many African children, and children in other post-colonial countries, to view life in the West as supreme. My friends and I dreamed of living like the Caucasians on television, and at times, we would see that Americans who looked like us could live in luxury.
We also heard, however, that many Americans who looked like us were poor. I recall an aunt (who had never been outside Nigeria) commenting on the lifestyles of a people she did not know. She categorized these people based on their color and on second-hand news gleaned from the media. Her story was distinctive: these people were lazy, and we were not.
In hindsight, such debilitating stories — supported by an attempt to escape stereotypes — help impair our identity as black people. My five year-old corrects me every time I use the term ‘black’ to describe him. “I am brown mommy,” he coos. I smile. But, I wonder how long his innocence will last. I wonder how long he will consider his skin color just that — a color. Not a people. Not a label. Not a culture. Just color.
I wonder if he sees behind my smile, memories of children ripped from their mothers… Still. I wonder if he sees my fears for him. Or if he knows that I try to protect him from the stereotype of his dark skin. Much like African American composer, Harry Burleigh, I sometimes feel like a motherless child. Stripped by her own hands.
Arguably, most Africans living in the United States are black. Of course an accent may give us away and parts of our heritage remain. But, in my new home, I am black first. Then Nigerian.
Consider that those stories (the kind my aunt told) could easily, now, relate to me. I see it in the eyes of future bosses. I hear it in the voices of friends at home. In their questions, as they try to decipher how lazy or successful I’ve become.
America boasts many comforts. Even so, for fellow Nigerians and others who do not know this — you may have to experience America for yourself to believe — nothing beats being in one’s own home. On one’s own land. Where color (generally) matters less.
So, when my five-year-old differentiates as brown — not black — I do smile. And Africa calls for me.
Feature Photo: Bayo Omoboriowo
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I have told a few people that I know that America is a country that all blacks should visit to get perspectives. There are loads of success stories and some not so much.
There is something about home, with all its inadequacies that makes it appealing…
Agreed, Folakemi. In as much as we tell stories or give advice, it is important that those back home (who have a perception of “living abroad”) get real perspective by traveling to or living in the diaspora themselves.
I was born in Nigeria and I still live here. And while growing up most of my friends believed in the American eldorado…. after watching all those high school movies back in the early nineties like: Poetic Justice, power respect juice, Don’t be a menace… I particularly fell for thug life of Tupac then, I wanted to be like Tu-pac. But after sometime, I realized that being another person is as a result of lack of self value and inferiority complex. All those media hype about life in America was not making sense again. I decided to be a positive role model. I told myself the truth that no other fellow could tell me. Though I have my elder brother there but honestly if i want to go to America, it must be for business, studies or for vacation not to go there and stay. Its true they have a working structure… but Nkem I totally agree with you that there’s no place like home. We’ll get there in Nigeria. Nkem, you can still right a book about This American dream to disabuse the mind younger ones from this illusion. J’adore mon pays Nigeria!
Jamike,
I am glad you can relate. I do always tell people (some friends and family) not to look to leaving so much — especially when they ignore studies, work, and family. I also feel bad when people I know set out on risky journeys… I do, however, realize that life in Nigeria can be difficult. But, like you say, we need more positive role models. And more stories… I can no longer tell people to make the best of where they are — because its difficult to put yourself in others’ shoes — but I can say, whatever decision one makes, to weigh ALL the pros and cons first.
On the matter of the book. Maybe you can contribute to a chapter? 🙂
Truly peer pressure is for real. But being positive depends on how you manage it. Good luck!
some might have stories to tell, while some might not have stories to tell. But in aspect of telling stories, one ought to have experienced some certainties before uncertainties takes one off track.
there’s no place like home. Sometimes home is the place where we can belong.
And … Belonging is a core human need. Thanks for commenting, Bill.
I’m am american and i feel as if Africa calls for me. I dream it and fantasize about it daily. Its like who am i? growing up in a place that isnt yours being robbed of your language, history and beliefs. We are made to feel inferior here and used as target practice. Yes some black american have sucessful lives but at what cost? My great great grandfather was brought here in the late 1800 from Ethiopia. I’m having my DNA tested to be sure and then I’m going home. I’m on a journey to self and I won’t find what I’m looking for here.
Hello April,
We love this quote from renowned Nigerian writer, Chinua Achebe: “Nobody can teach me who I am. You can describe parts of me, but who I am – and what I need – is something I have to find out myself.”
We all have a story. It is a necessity that we connect, fully, to wherever we call home. Thank you for sharing!
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